Ephemeral
by Just A Bit Potty
Summary: DracoHarry slash .... How can the world end with a single person's death? SEVERE ANGST WARNING
1. My Thoughts Of You

_The Evanescence Series_

Evanesce (ev-ǎ-ness) _verb_ to fade from sight etc., to disappear.****

The Songfic mini-series named after the band who wrote all it's theme songs, _'Evanescence'._

Title: My Thoughts Of You

Author: Just A Bit Potty

Summary: A fitting end leaves the world … and Draco … engulfed in bewildered sorrow.

Warnings: A heroic death. Probably doesn't have a completely original plot. Tissues may be needed. Songfic. Somewhat mushy (not too graphic or explicit or whatever, so I don't think it warrants anything more than R) sex scene between TWO BOYS (this means SLASH, boy/boy love, yaoi, homosexuality!!!, namely of the Draco/Harry kind!!!). Not as graphic as it could have been, to keep the 'mood' right. With slightly to not-so-slightly out-of-character characters. And a kind of inconclusive ending, but … it's supposed to be.

Rating: Hard R

Pre-story notes: The song is "My Last Breath" by Evanescence. If you haven't heard it, or any of their songs, I just can't believe it. You absolutely have to, right this instant! Also I'm perfectly aware of the likelihood that this would never happen, but I couldn't help but thinking, if Voldemort is so all-powerful, how could he not find a way to infiltrate Hogwarts? Also, I'm about 5 seconds from going 'grr' on my compooper because it keeps mucking up the paragraphs, and the bold and italic text. The weenie.

Disclaimer: As much as I kept wishing, is just ain't gonna happen. I don't own nuttin' but a few pencils and a few thousands art books.

  
_Prelude to a Symphony_

Nobody really expects the end of the world. It is predicted, the world holds its breath as it waits for the end to come. Waiting endlessly to cease existing. Yet still, it comes as a shock when you find your world collapsing around you. And either you fall along, or stand alone amidst the broken remnants of a once great thing. 

Worldwide religions describe the end in many different ways. A fiery inferno, horsemen swooping down from the bloody heavens… Judgment Day. But what if the end came with a single death?

_The Main Event_

****

**_  
Hold on to me love  
You know I can't stay long  
All I wanted to say was  
I love you, and I'm not afraid  
Can you hear me?  
Can you feel me in your arms?_**

****

~~~

Soft lips grazed his ear, chased by mischievous teeth that nipped at the sensitive lobe. A gasp was torn from his smiling mouth, as he squirmed restlessly in the arms holding him. He growled playfully, his own lips darting in for a brief kiss before he was pushed back onto the makeshift bed, pinned by trembling hands.

"Are you ready?" Bright silver eyes drove into his searchingly, clouded with lust. This was it… no turning back. Harry drew a deep breath, his eyes fluttering closed.

"I…"

~~~

"Harry, are you ready?" 

Harry Potter's eyes snapped open as he was called from his memories. Still he kept them close, hugging himself with bony arms and surveyed the damage wrought by evil. Strong arms crept around his body, pulling it against a hard chest. 

He bowed his head, black, dirt-clogged strands of hair hung over his eyes, shielding them from the horror that spread over the landscape.

"No… no I'm not," he murmured, turning in the warm embrace to lock his broken gaze on the only thing them kept him going. "But we have to anyway, right?"

Draco Malfoy nodded slightly, a smirk tugging up the corners of his pale lips. "It's not the end of the world yet, Harry."

"You just had to put the 'yet' in there, didn't you?" A mock scowl darkened the Gryffindor's features, as he allowed the light-hearted banter to carry his spirits briefly higher. A respite lost as his counter-part sobered and gazed at him solemnly, the faint lines around his eyes deepening slightly.

"We'll see," he whispered, and leant in to steal a kiss from Harry's trembling mouth.

They'd changed so much, yet hardly at all. As their heights shot up, Harry remained skinny with unruly hair, ever the hero of the Wizarding world, Draco still stood tall with a smirking, pointed face, as arrogant as ever. Yet now, as young adults the age of seventeen, facing the end of their stay at Hogwarts and a war that loomed on their doorsteps, rivalry seemed petty, and friendship had bloomed from necessity.

A few, tentative touches and kisses, and that friendship was soon a reluctant love. Both hesitant to acknowledge it's reality, neither had admitted their love until finally, Voldemort rode his war to Hogwarts and knocked on their door. 

That was a week ago.

Harry's stomach still rolled at the sight of ghostly faces swimming in black robes swarming the great hall. Could never forget the terrified screams as doomed youths denied death, only to succumb to Avada Kedavra with disbelief forever etched on their faces. As a handful, they ran, all purebloods or the better-trained sixth and seventh years, and a scraping of teachers, until they found refuge in the most unlikely of places.

The Forbidden Forest.

While Death Eaters hunted its depths, temporary wards and boundaries, courtesy of the combined power of all gathered, held them at bay. Kept them from being discovered.

It would not last long. Already it had held for a week, yet its walls were crumbling as the forest burned around them, their only safe-haven ablaze with a venomously hissed, "Incendio!"_  
  
_

_  
Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you?  
Sweet raptured light  
It ends here tonight…_

~~~

Soft lips grazed his ear, chased by mischievous teeth that nipped at the sensitive lobe. A gasp was torn from his smiling mouth, as he squirmed restlessly in the arms holding him. He growled playfully, his own lips darting in for a brief kiss before he was pushed back onto the makeshift bed, pinned by trembling hands.

"Are you ready?" Bright silver eyes drove into his searchingly, clouded with lust. This was it… no turning back. Harry drew a deep breath, his eyes fluttering closed.

"I…"

"Don't tell me you're backing out, Potter?" those blazing eyes narrowed, daring him to chicken out. Harry's own emerald eyes widened, then slit indignantly in response.

"No! I only—" Only then did he see the tiny smile hinted on his would-be-lover's lips. He was being teased. Of course Draco wouldn't force him.

Before he had a chance to protest, a warm mouth was attacking his throat, drawing blood to the surface of his heated skin. Harry moaned raggedly, arching his spine as he threaded his fingers through strands of platinum silk. Those hungry lips devoured him, nips and licks following in their wake as they nibbled down his taut belly, leaving behind a trail of red bruises and bite-marks. Nails raked down his sides, eliciting lustful cries from the tormented. 

"Draco!"

~~~

  
"Harry Potter."

He was numb to the crimson eyes raving over his form with distaste as he stood a battered soldier before the Dark Lord. Numb to the fallen bodies littering the ground. Numb to the dwindling number of Death Eaters as at last Aurors discovered their plight and came to their defense. Numb to his lover but a few feet away, hurling curses and hexes - most of them forbidden to school students - left and right.

Instead, in his minds eye, he saw Gryffindor battling Slytherin over the demolished quidditch field. Saw himself swooping for the snitch and clutching it in his hand just in the nick of time. Saw Draco Malfoy scowl in disappointment as the Potter Fan Club cheered. 

He saw Hagrid standing smiling on the front steps of his hut, not engulfed in flames, not a surprised corpse, but healthy, happy, with the rosy cheeks that a wonderful life brings.

He saw the playful first years, still young enough to be more or less innocent, staring in wonder at the once proud castle as they sailed across an inky lake.

He saw himself and Draco sharing a first, shy, clumsy kiss under the crying stars.

"Voldemort."

"At last we are at the end," hissed the bane of his existence as he drew a crooked black wand from his robes, twisted by the evil emanating from its owner*.

Harry held up his own wand defensively. "Yes," was all he said in reply.

With the practiced ease of endless tutoring sessions, Harry sunk into the first stance of a wizard's duel.

Snow fell from the sky like tiny, white stars.

He should have known Voldemort wouldn't play fair. So how could he expect the sudden agony in his stomach as a violet curse turned physical?

His eyes widened in shock.__

****

**I'll miss the winter****_  
A world of fragile things  
Look for me in the white forest  
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
I know you hear me  
I can taste it in your tears_**

~~~

Soft lips grazed his ear, chased by mischievous teeth that nipped at the sensitive lobe. A gasp was torn from his smiling mouth, as he squirmed restlessly in the arms holding him. He growled playfully, his own lips darting in for a brief kiss before he was pushed back onto the makeshift bed, pinned by trembling hands.

"Are you ready?" Bright silver eyes drove into his searchingly, clouded with lust. This was it… no turning back. Harry drew a deep breath, his eyes fluttering closed.

"I…"

"Don't tell me you're backing out, Potter?" those blazing eyes narrowed, daring him to chicken out. Harry's own emerald eyes widened, then slit indignantly in response.

"No! I only—" Only then did he see the tiny smile hinted on his would-be-lover's lips. He was being teased. Of course Draco wouldn't force him.

Before he had a chance to protest, a warm mouth was attacking his throat, drawing blood to the surface of his heated skin. Harry moaned raggedly, arching his spine as he threaded his fingers through strands of platinum silk. Those hungry lips devoured him, nips and licks following in their wake as they nibbled down his taut belly, leaving behind a trail of red bruises and bite-marks. Nails raked down his sides, eliciting lustful cries from the tormented. 

"Draco!"

"Yes, love?" came his tormentor's wicked reply, laced with a grin. He glanced up at his lover.

"D-don't… tease…"

"Harry," his breath was hot, coming in short pants against Harry's flushed skin, "I want this to last. We only have tonight." Draco sidled up his lover's body, until their harsh breaths mingled and their hips met, causing both to gasp. He captured Harry's wide-eyed stare, gazing for an eternity until the pale Gryffindor averted his eyes.

He stared out the opening of their crude shelter.

Crystal snowflakes fell around the improvised tent – little more than a transfigured white draped over a branch. They might have been frozen if not for the charms of warmth encasing their separate enclosure. The others were not far off, spending what might be their last nights with those closest to them… that were still alive.

He looked back at the Slytherin poised above him, and all at once the heat flooded his body again, pooling in his groin. He gasped and ground his hips upward, tipping his head back. Draco didn't hesitate to accept the invitation. His lips once again descended to kiss the soft flesh, as his hands slid down to the Gryffindor's hips… edging the material down.

Clothes disappeared with the help of urgent hands. Clumsily they fumbled with knots and ties, buttons and zips until they were panting, skin-to-skin, slim bodies undulating against each other as they kissed.

The way Harry's legs fell open was natural, as was the way Draco settled between them. The way the Slytherin's hands slid between his trembling thighs…

~~~

  
Only instinct had perhaps given the world a chance. When the Voldemort's curse was hurled at Harry's body, his lips reacted instantly without thought from his mind.

"Avada… Kedavra…!"

The secretly practiced, deadly curse spilled from his lips in a cry of anguish as metal slid into his body faster than he could see. He collapsed to his knees in time to see the Dark Lord crumple to the snow-kissed ground.

The spelled sword still protruded crudely from his stomach. Gasping for air, Harry's hand fell to the fatal wound, coming away wet with blood…

  
_Holding my last breath__  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you?  
Sweet raptured light  
It ends here tonight…_

~~~

A cry slid past Harry's bitten lips as Draco pushed inside, forcing his body open. Almost violent shivers wracked his body as he clung to the boy taking his virginity. His lips were sought and captured in a passionate kiss. Soothing the pain away…

"I love you…"

~~~

"Harry!"

Cold… so cold… Warm arms scooped him up, cradled him close. Frantic hands pressed around the gushing wound, trying desperately to push the blood back in, to close it with magic his hands didn't have.

Hysterical muttering, "My wand… where's my wand…Where is it?!" Jostled with roughness caused by fear.

Terrified.

Why… why is it so dark...?

Who is it…? Who keeps talking…?

_  
Draco…?_

"Your wand… Harry where's your wand? Harry?!"

The snow around them stained red like a blossoming flower.

"Someone… somebody help us!"

****

**Closing your eyes to disappear****_  
You pray your dreams will lead you here  
But still you wake and know the truth  
No one's there…_**

An anguished scream ripped from Draco's throat as no one answered his cries. Why wasn't anyone helping?! Why?!

Harry's faded green eyes flickered open. He saw an angel staring at him with fear in his icy blue eyes.

"D-Draco…? Hurts…" he murmured. His body jerked with pain. Why did it hurt so bad…? Was he… dying…?

No… no he didn't want to die, he was still just a boy. He was supposed to walk away triumphant… they said so… they told him so… He was supposed to win… He was supposed to live…

He was The-Boy-Who-_Lived_.

A perfect look of shocked horror painting his snow-white features, he stared up at Draco in panic. "D-Draco… I… d-don't want… t-to die…! Please… p-please… don't l-let me die… p-please… Draco…?"**

Draco shook his head and hugged his love close, "No! No you're not going to die… please don't die, Harry…"

Harry stared up at his lover with trusting eyes, "O-okay… wh… when I wake up… you'll b-be there… ri… right?"

"Yes… I'll be right here, I promise…"

"Mmm…" so sleepy… Maybe I'll just take a nap… so tired… at least it's not so cold anymore… "Draco… love you…"

****

**Say goodnight****_  
Don't be afraid  
Calling me, calling me  
As you fade to black_**

  
Harry closed his eyes and held his breath.

  
_Holding my last breath__  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you?  
Sweet raptured light  
It ends here tonight…_

  
"Harry…? Harry? Open your eyes, please.

"Wake up, Harry...

"Please…"

"Harry…?"

_The End._

* I realize this probably wouldn't happen to a wand in JK Rowling's universe, but I thought it fit.

** Some of you might not think Harry would have this reaction… I don't know but I reckon if I lived the life he'd lived, found out he was a hero at age eleven, then had all these expectations dumped on his shoulders, and was always known as The-Boy-Who-Lived then I wouldn't expect to be killed either. I'd feel rather immortal by that stage, after having escaped death so many times… Plus I'd feel pretty cheated by life. And he's only 17, as well… I'm that age as well, and I can tell you I'd be shit scared of dying like that.

But that's just my opinion. Please_ review_!

****NOTICE**** I'm also planning on making this an angst-loaded mini-series. Tell me what you think, huh? ^_^ But only if I get at least 15 reviews, pleeeaase? 


	2. Paper Flowers

The Evanescence Series

**Title: ** Paper Flowers, the fourth and last part of the _Evanescence_ series.

**Author: **Just A Bit Potty

**Rating: **PG to PG-13, I'm unsure.

**Disclaimer:** Once again, not owning much here! Harry Potter and co. isn't mine; it's the beautiful J.K. Rowling's.

The fourth and last part of the _Evanescence_ Series.

**Summary:** The daughter of two heartbroken people struggles to survive the depression her parents have sunk into… and tells her story to anyone who'll listen… anyone…?

**Warning:** You may not like the ending…

Oh and thank you to Angel of Death, thank you for reviewing. I'll write the Draco chapter soon.

**Paper Flowers******

****

**_~~~_**

****

_I linger in the doorway_

_Of alarm clock screaming,_

Monsters calling my name 

_Let me stay…_

_Where the wind will whisper to me_

_Where the raindrops as they're falling_

Tell a story… 

~~~

When I was a lot younger, maybe three or four, my daddy used to teach me Wizard's Chess. Especially when it was raining, and I couldn't go outside. He'd set up the chessboard in front of the fire, and sit me on his knee, telling my how to play. Then he'd challenge me to a match, even when most of the pieces ended up in my mouth. I loved those times, because it was the only time Daddy really played with me. 

He still smiled back then. 

He'd tell me he was the best at Wizard's Chess, and that he'd always beat his friend Harry when they were at school.

Then he'd get very quiet, and would ignore me for hours. Staring at the wall, or out a window. Mummy would start to cry. Then she'd disappear into the kitchen to make dinner.

I'd wait in my room for dinner, but I think Mummy would forget to cook because I would go to sleep without food.

That happens a lot more now.

I'm six now, but my friends tell my I still look four, and I was born nine months after the Last War. Mummy told me that that's when Harry Potter died. She always gets tears in her eyes when anyone talks about Harry Potter. I think it's because she was his best friend, and so was Daddy, but they hardly every say anything about him, even when I ask. Only that he was a great hero who died a long time ago. I'm not sure what they mean, but I think it's that he's gone away for a long time. They must miss him a lot.

The one who told me the most about Harry is Mr. Malfoy. He said he loved Harry, and that he never stopped. I don't think he had any other friends, because he would always come over here and talk to me, almost every day. He'd arrive at breakfast time, and Mummy and Daddy never refused him. Every day they had an extra plate set out for him, even if he didn't show up. He hardly ever missed a day with us.

After breakfast I was always ushered out of the room. I'd wait in the living room, pretending to read, while I listened to the hushed voices in the kitchen. Then the sound of someone crying; I think it was Mr. Malfoy. 

He'd come out with red eyes and a blotchy face, but I still think he was very handsome. He'd take me outside and sit on the porch next to me, and tell me stories. A lot of them were sad and made me want to cry…. And all of them were about Harry Potter. I didn't mind though, because he always looked so sad and lost when he came to visit, worse than Daddy does now. I always tried my best to cheer him up, but I guess it didn't work:

One day he stopped coming around.

_~~~_

_In my field of paper flowers_

_And candy clouds of lullaby_

_I lie inside myself for hours,  
And watch my purple sky fly over me_

_~~~****_

****

I tug on Daddy's shirt, trying to get his attention. He's just sitting there staring at the wall again and it's scary. I hate it when he does that. He does it a lot more lately, his eyes wide and empty like he's sleeping with his eyes open.

Mummy's in the kitchen, pretending to make dinner but I know she's crying again because Daddy's gone quiet. I… I think it's my fault… I miss Mr. Malfoy… I asked Mummy if he'd gone to see Harry Potter, because I wish he'd come around again, but whenever I ask where he went, nobody answers me. Nobody else visits us.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm invisible. If my family is invisible… If Mummy and Daddy love me anymore…

I wish I could make them happy…

I hug myself and back away from my daddy, sniffling softly. It's not fair… I miss my real daddy, the daddy I had before… before he got sad. I don't know why he's so sad all the time, only that it makes Mummy cry.

"Please Daddy, wake up," I whisper, my voice soft and shaky. My throat hurts and my eyes sting, and I think I'm crying, but I don't really know… when I cried before, someone would hug me and make me feel better, but now nobody notices… so I don't know if I'm really crying or not. If I were, wouldn't someone come and hug me?

When Daddy doesn't answer me, just keeps staring silently at the wall, I try not to shiver and trudge slowly back to the room, slowing just enough to hear in case Daddy or Mummy call me back and want to hug me.

I stand in front of my door; it stares sadly back at me, it's white face painted with faded rainbows.

Nobody called me back.

I push open my door and make my way over to me bed. It's soft and warm, like a hug, as I curl up under the covers.

And stare at the ceiling. It's charmed to look like the night's sky.

Mummy told me that.

_~~~_

_Don't say I'm out of touch_

_With this rampant chaos – your reality_

_I know well what lies beyond_

_My sleeping refuge_

_The nightmare I built my own world_

To escape… 

_~~~_

I don't feel well. Everyday my chest hurts worse. Everyday Mummy pretends. Every day… I think my daddy dies.

I don't like to go outside my room anymore, either. It's not as lonely in my room, with the magical ceiling. When nobody else hugs me, I hug my toys that I got when I was a baby. Mummy said Daddy couldn't afford to buy any more for me, so these were all I would get for now. 

These days, Mummy usually sits with Daddy in the living room, while Daddy stares at the wall. She reads a really big book, but never lets me see what's inside, even though I'm nearly seven and I could read real good ever since I was four. In the morning when I wake up, she tells me that breakfast and lunch are already in the fridge, then goes to sit with Daddy and read. 

Both of them are getting very skinny and I wonder if they ever eat. Daddy hardly talks to me anymore. I miss when he was laughing and funny, before Mr. Malfoy left.

I miss when Mummy would cuddle me, but she said she'd 'do it later', when Daddy's better.

It's been three months since she told me that. Daddy is still staring.

My birthday is in a week.

~~~

I found a picture album in the attic the other day… It had pictures of my mummy, daddy and Harry Potter when they went to school. Harry Potter was very pretty… I think I would have liked him. There were also pictures of Uncle Sirius and Uncle Remus. I never knew them, but when I was younger Mummy told me about them. She said they died too, and I silently hoped they were with Harry Potter, so he wouldn't be lonely.

Harry Potter seemed like such a nice person, from what Mr. Malfoy told me…

I only found one picture of Harry Potter and Mr. Malfoy together. They were hugging with they lips pressed against each other's – kissing. I wondered when was the last time I saw Mummy and Daddy kiss.

I spent the whole day looking at the moving pictures in the album, making up stories for them, until Mummy came in and found me.

She took my album and told me I shouldn't look at those pictures; they were not for me. She gave me another book and said I could read that instead.

I didn't like that book. It was about a bear called Pooh that loved hunny. I didn't want that book. I wanted the book with pictures of my mummy, my daddy, Harry Potter and Mr. Malfoy. I wanted to see them smiling and happy in the photos.

The Book of Pooh is on the floor in the corner of my room.

I stare at it, like Daddy stares at the wall: with blank eyes that don't really see. I hug my knees to my chest and feel my eyes start to sting and my chest start to hurt.

Can't… breath very good… 

I squeeze my eyes shut and listen for Mummy and Daddy.

I don't hear anything.

Mummy… Daddy… Please come and hug me. I miss you… 

Nothing.

_~~~_

_Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming_

_Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights_

_~~~_

I don't sleep anymore. I sit in my bed and wait for Mummy and Daddy to come and find me.

No one comes.

_~~~_

Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming 

_The goddess of imaginary light_

_~~~_

It's my birthday, I think. Today I'm seven. I miss my Mummy and Daddy, but they still haven't come to find me.

I think today I will go and look for them.

I crawl out of my bed, but it's hard to move. My tummy hurts and keeps grumbling. I hope Mummy made breakfast.

Trying not to stumble, I make my way out to where Mummy and Daddy always sit – on the soft couch in the living room. The fire is out. At first I don't see my mummy or daddy, but when I do, I smile.

My mummy and daddy are curled up on the couch together. Mummy's book is on the floor, and Daddy's not staring. His eyes are closed. So are Mummy's. They're sleeping together.

Feeling my heart swell happily, I tiptoe over to them, and touch Mummy gently on her arm. Her skin is soft but so cold. I think it's because the fire is out, but I don't know how to light it again. Instead I try to move her arm so I can fit between them, but it's hard to budge*. 

It's very cold when I curl up against Daddy's back, wrapping my small arms around his stomach. I rest my cheek against him and close my eyes, waiting for them to wake up and love me.

I think tomorrow will be better.

I think tomorrow my mummy will stop crying. I think tomorrow my daddy will stop staring.

I think tomorrow they will love me again.

I fall asleep and dream of Mummy and Daddy, Harry Potter and Mr. Malfoy as children, laughing and playing together in a field of paper flowers.

_~~~_

_In my field of paper flowers_

_And candy clouds of lullaby_

_I lie inside myself for hours_

_And watch my purple sky fly over me_

_~~~_

The End 

There, it's over. All the angst is free. Please **REVIEW** and give me your opinion; I know this is very different from my other story (which I'm not sure if I'll every finish… good reviews may help pursuade me…). And yes, it's pretty obvious who the little girl's parents are: Ron and Hermione. Sorry if that was so sad for some people… It made me cry while writing it, but then I'm just a big crybaby anyway, so I don't know if it counts.

* I'm not exactly sure what happens when a person dies; how long it is before they start to stiffen, but the time frame here is only a few hours since their death, if that's any help.


End file.
